Where is My Home?

When I (Deborah) arrived in the States I experienced reverse culture shock in many different areas. Nothing, absolutely nothing is the same between the two cultures. One of the areas where I felt the most shock was all the change as we arrived "home". Clinton did not feel like my home, but surprisingly the Philippines did feel like home, which that in itself was an unusual shock to my heart. The question in my mind was "where is my home"? Our son, Chad, lovingly and gently reminded me that my home is in Heaven (that seminary education coming in handy) and my heart began to slowly settle down.

When we first went to the Philippines, we felt God urging us to sell our home, and following the nudge of the Holy Spirit, it sold in 10 days! Ha! But as we have travelled, I have sometimes wondered if we will ever be able to afford a home, whenever God sees fit, our labor being finished in the Philippines, for our return to the States. I am more easily prone to fear than to trust God at times, and ever so gently God reminded me that He had this "home thing" all under His control and watchful, caring eye. So, I released it to His loving hands once again. Then during our trip to Texas God provided a gorgeous, new, recently contstructed house for us to stay in for our four day visit there. The owners were out of town and gracious enough to lend it to us. It was such a special time for me as I simply began to "pretend" it was my home. I had some delightful times of fellowship with God in a small sitting area in the master bedroom that seemed to be crafted just for me. The neighborhood was a beautiful place for me to walk and I felt so romanced by my God. And yes, He even surprised me by bringing four, red, male cardinals, each one catching my breath as He continues to shower His love and mercy on me. There was also a quilting room with a neat work table. I knew it was just for me as I slid right into that chair and thumbed through a quilting book. What a treat, since I too love to quilt. Yet, the icing on the cake was the whirlpool tub!!! I for sure thought I had died and gone to Heaven! There are no bathtubs in the Philippines, as tubs are not built into the majority of houses there. He spoils me, I know! :)

God is so gentle and merciful with me and amazes me with special unexpected gifts of His daily grace. He is so intimate as well, as He continually shows me how He knows each and every detailed desire of my heart, and the ways that He Himself will satisfy my every longing.

Why, oh why do I fear so often when God continues to take such gracious, extravagant, and wonderful care of me?!