My Heart

Romans 7

"I am a mass of contradictions; I don't want to be but I am.

I preach a gospel of peace, but my life isn't always driven by peace.

I talk about a Jesus who alone can fully satisfy the soul, but I am often not satisfied.

I celebrate a theology of amazing grace, but I often react in ungrace.

And if I rest in God's control, why do I seek it for myself?

Even in moments when I think I am prepared, I end up doing what I didn't want to do.

Irritation

Impatience

Envy

Discontent

Wrong talk

Anger

Self-focus

Are not the fruit of the new life, are not the way of grace.

So there is this law operating inside of me.

When I step out with a desire to do good, evil follows me wherever I go.

There is this war that rages inside of me, between a desire for good and sin that is anything but good.

There are times when I feel like a prisoner, held against my will.

I didn't plan to be mad  in the grocery store, but that guy made me mad.

I didn't plan to be discontent, but it just enveloped me in the quietness of the car.

That discussion wasn't supposed to degenerate into an argument, but it did.

I am thankful for God's grace, but there is daily evidence that I'm still in need of help.

That battle inside me cannot be solved by

Theology

Strategies - (doing, doing, doing)

Principles

Techniques - (trying to pull myself up by my boot straps)

Plans

Preparation

Helpful hints

Outlines.

I have been humbled by the war I cannot win.

I have been grieved by desires I cannot conquer.

I have been confronted by actions I cannot excuse.

And I have come to confess that what I really need is rescue.

So, have mercy on me, O God,

Acording to YOUR great compassion

Blot out my transgressions.

Wash away all my iniquity

And cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions

And my sin is always before me.

I embrace the rescue that Could only be found in YOU.

Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

This beautiful writing came out of a book WHITER THAN SNOW by Paul David Tripp (thanks Belinda for pointing me to this devotional).  While there is no way that I have the gifts to write it, it was quite convicting and spoke to my heart, so I wanted to share it with you.  

We had an incredible trip to Florida and got all of our questions answered.  Life has been fast and furious since our return but I will write about our trip soon.